


Relentless Sins

by UwuKittenJoonie



Category: GOT7, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Abandonment, Angst, Betrayal, Drug Use, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mental Institutions, Murder, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Lives, Split Personalities, fictional conditions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-28
Packaged: 2019-06-23 14:31:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15608337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UwuKittenJoonie/pseuds/UwuKittenJoonie
Summary: Namjoon had everything anyone could ask for but everything soon changed as his RGM began to kick in but it wasn't a normal cycle of RGM because dark secret from his past lives where exposed to him that left him in overwhelming guilt. He seeks help but is it already too late for him?





	1. Slam

**Author's Note:**

> RGM - ReGainment of Memories which means you get memories from your past life.

The birds chirped happily as they glided through the wind, it seemed like they had no problems but as Namjoon watched them land on a branch and try to scavenge for food, he was brought back to his youth. He was the tender age of 5 and he had decided to go travel the woods that were behind his house, his parents didn’t mind because they believed if he got hurt that was his fault and he will now learn not to do what he did to get hurt. He wandered through the forest unaware of his destination until he came across a large tree that housed chirping birds. Namjoon looked up at them with such delight in his eyes before it changed to fear as he saw one of the older birds push the youngest off. He watched in fear as the baby bird tried to fly but to no avail. The baby crashed into a neighboring tree and fell to his death all in front of a terrified Namjoon. 

 

The male was brought back to the present as the sliding door that led to the balcony where he stood was opened and closed loudly. The only person out of his acquaintances who did that was his manager, Seojoon. Namjoon turned to look at his manager as he held his cup of tea close to his chest to warm up the coldness that was brought by the memory from the past. 

 

“Namjoon what are you doing outside in only your sleep wear? It is almost time for your shoot and then you have to go sign off on producing the album and then you have to go redo some scenes because the director didn’t like the way they came out.” Seojoon said quickly as he grabbed Namjoon’s wrist and led him back into the penthouse. Once again, the loud slam. It resonated within Namjoon’s head but he said nothing about it as he allowed his manager to drag him to his room and pick out simple clothes since once they got to the location of the shoot, he would be given different clothes to wear. 

 

“Hurry up and change Namjoon. We have 15 minutes to get to the shoot and the shoot is 10 minutes away so do the math.” Seojoon said before walking out, already calling someone that Namjoon probably didn’t know. The male looked at himself in the mirror as he got dressed, why did he feel so different? The coldness in his chest has not subsided but as he stared at himself it seemed like it was growing. Namjoon shivered slightly as he pulled the pull over over his head and down to cover his chest. He closed his eyes slowly and when he opened them, he was in a different room. It was a messy room and there was red liquid everywhere. He heard footsteps and as he slowly turned to the sound, he saw- 

 

“Namjoon let’s go. We are going to be late and you know they do not like people being late and I will not have you be dropped from a photo shoot because that would look horrible for not only your record but my own. “ Seojoon said as he grabbed Namjoon’s hand and yanked him away from where he stood and dragged him down the stairs and towards the elevator. Namjoon stared at his foot as it tapped repeatedly against the wood of the elevator. 

 

“Tonight you have a dinner with President Moon and a lot of other powerful heads so I need you to be on your best behavior and stop spacing out.” Seojoon said as he led the the younger out of the elevator and into the car with darkened windows. He pushed Namjoon into the empty back seat while he sat in the passenger seat, he urged the driver to speed so they do not arrive late at the shoot. 

 

Namjoon stared out the window as he tried to think, tried to think about what he had saw. Was he finally regaining his memories from his past life? Why was there red liquid everywhere? Namjoon had so many questions but no one to answer them because he knew he couldn’t talk to any of his acquaintances about it because they surely wouldn’t understand. The shoot flew by quickly because it was a solo shoot to promote an up and coming fashion company. Namjoon liked the shoot because it allowed him to once again bend gender roles. In one of his outfits for the shoot, he was wearing a tight corset with large pants along with a thick black choker. 

 

The next business he had to do was go to his company and sign some papers that allowed them to release the album he had spent three years working on. It was supposed to be his debut into music which meant that after the release he would have comeback shows which were already being planned as he signed the papers quickly. He was lucky he was a quick reader so he could read all the words that were put on the papers that needed to be signed. 

 

His final work stop was at the set where he was playing an ex boyfriend who had come back into her life at the time of her marriage. They had already finished all the shooting but during the editing process, they decided that a few scenes with Namjoon in them needed to be redone because they did not want to disappoint fans who were excited for the movie. The shooting was easy for Namjoon because he had learned the lines quickly and was always easily able to convey his emotions visually. It was cute because he could see that the female lead was anxious around him but Namjoon helped to relieve her nerves by having a small talk with her. They finished the reshoot with 40 minutes to spare before the dinner. 

 

Namjoon was rushed home where he was met with his company's designers who rushed him around his house until he was presentable for the president. Sometimes Namjoon wished that he had a different life, that his life wasn’t so controlled and he could dress the way he wanted. With 10 minutes to spare, Namjoon was once again thrown into the back of the car and driven to the Blue House where the dinner was going to be held. 

 

He was escorted in by the guards who had become familiar with the male due to the amount of times he had come by. Namjoon smiled and greeted the other party goers who were excited to see the brunette man with the famous dimples. As he shook the hand of one of the people invited, he felt a spark between them but not the cliche love spark but a spark that drew out a part of Namjoon that had laid dormant for most of his life. 

 

_ “Ji-eun come play with me.” A male whined as he chased after a girl who was running in circles, her hair was falling out as she ran and it seemed that the little boy knew too. The girl collapsed and the boy made haste to run to her and scream for help but her eyes were beginning to flutter close.  _

 

Namjoon quickly removed his hand from the mans and smiled before walking to the large dining room table and taking his seat near President Moon who was urging everyone to sit down so the dinner can officially begin. Namjoon would sneak glances at the man who he had touched and it seemed like he was fine but why wasn’t Namjoon? His chest felt cold again and his vision was flickering. What was wrong with him? The noises seemed amplified as plates were placed in front of the guests. 

 

Slam. 

 

Slam. 

 

Scratch. 

 

Twist. 

 

Then it all stopped, the noises had stopped but they didn’t. He felt like he was underwater but there was no use screaming for help. He saw someone stood near him but their face was not viewable. 

 

Dinner flew by and soon he was back in the back of the car. His mind felt like it was being torn apart but it was probably his exhaustion, he told himself but for some reason he didn’t believe what he was telling himself. He dragged his way into his house and up his stairs to his bedroom where he threw himself and allowed the exhaustion to overtake him. 

 

_ He was walking down a dark alley and he could hear the laughter of two people. He scratched his back and felt something cold touch his fingertips. He took a sharp turn and found the two people pressed against the wall, they were engaging in sexual actions. He creeped up behind them and pulled out the cold weapon that was against his back side. It was a knife.  _

 

_ He grabbed the male roughly and dragged the knife across his neck before plunging the knife inside the girls chest so she had no time to scream. He watched as the blood flowed out of their wounds. He felt a chuckle grow within his chest and that chuckle soon turned into mad laughter. He placed his knife back into his backside before grabbing one of the bodies and dragging them towards a door that was partially rusted, he opened it slowly to expose rickety stairs which he threw the male down and soon the female. He dragged them onto the table and began his work on them.  _

 

Namjoon awoke in a cold sweat as the memories of his dream plagued his mind. What was happening to him? 


	2. Ilsan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon decides to go to Ilsan where he meets some people who offer him a better way

Namjoon stood back on his porch as he listened to the classical music flow out from where it was being played in his living room. He had always loved Clair de lune, it showed so many emotions yet spoke no words at all. Namjoon always wondered how composers in the past could make people feel something without speaking but then again that was the power of music that no words had to be spoke to have some feelings be brought to the surface. 

 

Today was the first day that Namjoon didn’t have a schedule and he had no idea what to do. He was so used to be told to do this and being told to do that, that now he had no idea what to do with the time he had on his hands. He closed his eyes and listened to the music that was escaping his house to make it outdoors. 

 

Red, the color was everywhere yet again. He could hear whimpers and screams but he could also hear soft whispering and the sound of a television on low volume. If he listened closely he could possibly hear what it was saying but as he opened his eyes, he was drawn out. 

 

“I can go to Ilsan. “ He said quietly as he turned around and walked back into his house but he didn’t slam the door like Seojoon did, he closed it quietly and for once he didn’t hear the resonating sound that he heard whenever Seojoon closed it. Namjoon nodded to himself and walked to his room and chose out an outfit that wouldn’t draw too much attention to him. It was a simple white shirt with jeans and obviously a black hat and mask. 

 

He changed quickly and before leaving he stopped in his mirror once again. He could see something behind him in the mirror, a dark shadow that was built like he was, but when he turned around nothing was there. He thought back to the dream he had last night but shook it off quickly because he had become disgusted. Namjoon walked out of his room and into the elevator which would take him to where all the cars for the people who live in the apartments would go. He hopped in his car quickly before driving out of the parking garage and pass the security who merely smiled shyly at him. 

 

Namjoon drove to Ilsan while listening to his friend Jackson Wang who was in an idol group under some company called Hope World who was a major rival for Namjoon’s company, BigHit. Since Jackson signed with his company over a year ago, they haven’t been able to meet and rarely get talk because Seojoon sees it as bashing BigHit by hanging out with idols from their rival company. Namjoon didn’t understand it at all, why could he not just be friends with whoever he wanted? 

 

That question plagued his mind the whole ride to Ilsan. He had planned stops that he wanted to go to and the first one was his old house. As he drove by the house, he wasn’t surprised that it was still in ruins from what had happened all those years ago. He remembered it so vividly as he parked in the driveway that had spots stained from the ash. 

 

_ Namjoon was fast asleep, he was 18 and was planning to say his final goodbyes to his parents because he had gotten a spot with an up and coming idol company that would allow him to do everything he wanted. He was awoken by the sound of screams and sirens, they were so loud and all he wanted to do was sleep but the noise started to grow and soon began to resonate in his head. What was going on?  _

 

_ As he opened his eyes, he saw the smoke and flames that were beginning to come into his room. He quickly shook himself out of his trance like state and rapidly walked down the stairs to find his parents fighting but not with fists but with knifes. His father had more cuts than his mother but his mother had one in the middle of her back.  _

 

_ “Stop please stop.” Namjoon cried out but his parents seemed to be too lost, what was happening? Namjoon ran to where they were and tried to stop his mother who was already stumbling around from blood loss but he couldn’t. The fire was beginning to grow and all Namjoon knew was that he had to get them out of there but then the door was broken down and he was being pulled away from his mother and out of the house. He was kicking and screaming like a little kid as he watched the firefighters try to calm his father who was still putting up a fight.  _

 

_ His mother died that night while his father was sent to prison for arson, murder and attempted murder. He stayed in prison for 6 months before being moved to a mental hospital where he died two years later.  _

 

Namjoon frowned at the memory and wiped at his eyes as he lifted his shirt to reveal to himself the burn marks which was almost completely healed so there would be no trace of what happened. He never came out to say what happened and his company never asked him to but there were times where someone would dig too deep. That had happened once but after finding out the truth, Namjoon merely paid a visit and spoke with them privately and the matter was taken care of. No one knew what happened before he moved to BigHit but Jackson who was his best friend at that time and still now even though they do not talk often. 

 

He pushed his shirt back down and drove towards the downtown area where he wanted to explore. He questioned texting Jackson and asking if he wanted to meet up but he didn’t want to get himself and other people in trouble. He parked his car and soon was on his own in his old hometown. Every place he went to seemed the same yet so different. 

 

Namjoon stopped by a cafe to grab some tea before heading on his way. He didn’t stop at any stores but just walked the streets that he had walked for so long until the incident. He saw that some fans recognized him and he happily took pictures with them before continuing on his way. He didn’t know where he was heading but soon he ended up outside of a dog adoption center where once was a bookstore that he worked at. As he looked inside, he was surprised to find Jackson with his group and one other male that seemed familiar to Namjoon yet he couldn’t put his finger on it. Something made Namjoon go into the store but as the bell rang signaling a new customer, everyone looked up and soon he was wrapped in the muscular arms of his best friend. 

 

“I didn’t know you were going to be in Ilsan today. I thought you were touring.” Namjoon said quietly as he wrapped his arms tightly around Jackson who was sniffling softly, when he pulled away Namjoon was able to see the tears that were strolling down his face. Namjoon smiled softly and wiped them away before hugging him again. 

 

“I missed you a lot Joonie.” Jackson said quietly against the shell of the youngers ear. Namjoon nodded and muttered a similar response as they continued to let the embrace shake them to the core. It had been almost a year yet it felt like many more. Before they used to see each other every other day and fans speculated that they were together not knowing that in actuality they both were gay just not for each other. 

 

They broke away due to a loud cough by seven other people. Namjoon chuckled awkwardly as he scratched behind his neck. Jackson smiled widely before introducing the members of his group but he stopped at the last man who had a bright smile on as he looked at Namjoon. 

 

“I am Jung Hoseok, CEO of Hope World. You must be the famous Kim Namjoon that Jackson talks about  **_all_ ** the time. It is nice to finally meet you.” Hoseok said as he extended his hand for Namjoon to grab and shake since they needed to be formal unlike the way he was with the members of Jackson’s group. 

 

_ “Hobi don’t run so fast, I can’t keep up.” A male yelled as he tried to catch up with the young Hoseok. Out of nowhere another male came and tackled Hoseok to the ground and pinned him down as the other one finally caught up.  _

 

_ “We caught you Hobi.” The male who had tackled him said as he rolled to his side and rested his head on Hobi’s chest while the other man laid down next to the tackler.  _

 

Namjoon pulled his hand away swiftly as he smiled and bowed to him. This happened yesterday as well. What was going on? What was he seeing? Why was he-

 

“Joonie why are you here?” Jackson asked and Namjoon shrugged as he walked over to the dogs who were wagging their tail in excitement. He smiled at them and bent down to touch a small white puppy who had soft fur. His penthouse never said anything about pets because for some reason, he felt a connection to the dog. 

 

“I finally had a free day and decided to come back home.” Namjoon said as he picked up the small white puppy and brought them over to one of the workers to ask how much it would be to adopt him. The other members left to go play with the other dogs but Hoseok and Jackson did not. Jackson approached Namjoon while Hoseok stayed in the back and watched from behind. 

 

“Do you want to spend the rest of the day with us? I’ve missed you. “ Jackson said as he looked up at Namjoon with puppy dog eyes hoping that it will get the younger to say yes. Namjoon chuckled softly as he nodded and wrapped an arm around Jackson’s waist and held him close. It felt good to have Jackson close to him again, it felt like a major part of him returned. 

 

Since they were going to spend the rest of the day out, the workers suggested to keep the puppy until they were ready to leave back to Seoul. Namjoon agreed and spent the day with the 8 males. It was amazing, Jung Hoseok wasn’t anything like Seojoon had portrayed him. If anything he was a ray of sunshine but Namjoon could not get over what had happened when they shook hands. 

 

Namjoon didn’t go to pick up his puppy until almost 8 in the evening. Jackson was right by his side the whole time because he insisted that Namjoon drop him off so they could spend as much time together. While driving back to Seoul, Jackson held Rapmon who was already half asleep which Namjoon found adorable. 

 

“Did you stop by there?” Jackson asked and Namjoon knew exactly what he was talking about, he was asking if he had stopped by his old house. The younger nodded slowly as he focused his eyes on the road ahead of them but Jackson could tell that it hurt him because his knuckles were beginning to turn white from how hard he was clenching the steering wheel. 

 

“I know it hurts but maybe you should talk about it with someone Joon. Come join Hope World, they give us the chance to be who we are. I get to be open about who I am. I know you don’t like it at BigHit. I can see it in your eyes, so please just think about it okay?” Jackson said as he stepped out of the car after placing the sleeping puppy in the passenger seat. Namjoon nodded and rolled down the window as he let half of his body out so they could hug once again because neither of them knew when they would be able to see the other. 

 

“Bye Jackie, I love you okay? And I will think about it.” 

 

“I love you too Joon and please do.” 

 

The drive back to Namjoon’s apartment was quick since they didn’t live that far apart. He rushed upstairs already tired from the day of being out. He carried Rapmon into his room and placed him on the pillows at the head of the bed as he quickly got changed into his silk pajamas. As he laid in bed, he thought about Jackson’s offer and what Hoseok had said while the boys went to get their food. 

 

_ “I know what BigHit is like, it is a horrible and manipulative place and I don’t want you to be there. If you are important to Jackson then you are important to me. If you ever wanna leave just call Jackson and tell him, he will tell me. We have plenty of benefits to help you and we also allow you to have free reign, that is better than BigHit. So think about it Namjoon.”  _

 

The thought of leaving stayed on his mind as he drifted off into sleep. 

 

_ “Please I beg of you. I have a family. A daughter and a son. I have my brothers son. Please.” The male begged before letting out a blood curdling scream before silence. Blood spewed out of the wound but soon it stopped. He grabbed the syringe and pushed the liquids into his wound and watched as the flesh began to burn away.  _

 

_ “Well now that didn’t work well.” He said before pushing the males body off of the table and dragging him to a furnace where he quickly threw him in. He watched as the body burned and filled the room with the stench of flesh.  _

 

This was the second time he had a dream about murder. What was happening to Namjoon? 


	3. Faint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was getting too much

**Jackson Wang and Kim Namjoon dating !?!?!?!**

_ Everyone knows Jackson Wang from the boy group taking over the world, GOT7 and from being the first artist who signed to the biggest company at the moment, Hope World. Everyone also knows Korea’s sweetheart, Kim Namjoon who has been signed to BigHit, the second biggest company at the moment, since the company opened 6 years ago.  _

_ On a November 7th, fans spotted Namjoon and GOT7 out in Ilsan in separate areas but fans said that they saw them meet up at a dog adoption center where the two shared a very passionate hug that has some fans speculating a lot of things.  _

_ Prior to Jackson joining Hope World, he used to be regularly seen with Kim Namjoon and would often be photographed leaving the idols house. There were many rumors then that the two were dating.  _

_ Back to the present, we saw them hanging out together with GOT7 and CEO of Hope World, Jung Hoseok. The 8 traveled around Ilsan and were photographed having a great time.  _

_ It was reported that Kim Namjoon adopted a dog and was seen dropping Jackson off at his penthouse where the two shared yet another passionate moment.  _

_ What is your take on all this information? Do you think they are dating? Leave your thoughts in the comments below.  _

 

“What did I tell you Namjoon! I told you that I do not want you being seen with Jackson anymore! He is your enemy! Why do you never listen!” Seojoon yelled as he walked back and forth in the middle of Namjoon’s living room. Namjoon could see how mad he was because the vein in his neck was beginning to pop out and if this was a cartoon there would for sure be smoke coming out of his ears. Seojoon was furious but Namjoon still didn’t understand why. He just met up with his best friend. What was so bad about that? 

 

“But he’s not my enemy...he’s my best friend.” Namjoon said quietly as he looked at Seojoon but once their eyes locked, Namjoon forced his gaze down to the floor. He felt like he shouldn’t be looking at him at all. 

 

“He. Is. Your. Enemy. “ Seojoon said as he walked over to Namjoon and gripped his chin tightly and forced his head up so they were looking eye to eye. He felt scared, those eyes looked so eerily familiar, they reminded him of the look in his dads eyes when Namjoon had finally made it downstairs. He felt his leg start to bounce and soon sweat started to develop on his hairline and the next thing Namjoon knew, he was in his bed and it was 3 hours later. 

 

It was now about to be 1 in the afternoon and Namjoon was being forced out of his bed and into a suit because they had planned a conference for him to deny the rumors and explain his next branch out into music. His head was throbbing as he looked at himself in the mirror, it was a white suit but when he blinked it turned into a doctor's coat stained in red. Everything was red again. Namjoon clutched his head and fell down to his knees but he was quickly picked up by Seojoon who dragged him out of his room and into the elevator. Seojoon’s hand was gripping Namjoon’s arm tightly and it should have hurt but Namjoon felt nothing. 

 

_ “Seojoonie, let’s go for a drive. I finally got my license so now we can drive around.” She begged the male and he did nothing but nod and smile as he stepped into the passenger seat of the car. He buckled up quickly and relaxed as he turned to watch how excited his little sister was to finally be able to drive.  _

 

_ Everything was amazing until the birds came, there were so many and she didn’t want to hit any. She swerved into the other lane and the car was hit by a speeding truck. Her side took the most damage and she died. He can still hear the screams of both of them.  _

 

“Please don’t touch me Seojoonie.” Namjoon said as he moved away from Seojoon so he wasn’t touching his body. His manager looked at him with wide eyes but quickly shook it away as he escorted Namjoon out of the elevator without touching him at all. While Namjoon sat in the back of the car, he tried to make sense of what just happened. 

 

He had another weird thing happen when someone touched him. It happened with that guy at the Presidential party, Jung Hoseok and now Seojoon. Why was this all of a sudden happening? Namjoon was so confused on what was happening and questioned seeking help but he couldn’t do that without people in his company not caring at all. They saw him as a dollar sign not as a human. 

 

Once they arrived at the company, Namjoon was once again escorted to the conference room where reporters were already filling in so they can hear what Namjoon has to say. As he walked, he thought about what Hoseok and Jackson said. Jackson said they had benefits that could help him and Hoseok didn’t seem like a bad guy. Should he leave? Could he even leave? 

 

They sat Namjoon down and had him wait until all the seats were filled. While everyone was waiting, he was having an internal battle on whether to leave or not. Whether to expose the truth or not. His head was starting to hurt again. His chest was getting cold and he felt sick. 

 

“The conference for Kim Namjoon will begin now.” Seojoon said before sitting down next to Namjoon who was still lost in his head. What was he going to do? He felt like something was touching him but it was something cold, a cold hand was placed on his shoulder. 

 

“Namjoon start talking.” Seojoon gritted out as he hit the youngers thigh and covered it with a cough. Namjoon was brought out of his head and he looked at the crowd with a numb look on his face. He felt so sick, the cold feeling was spreading from his chest up his body to his head. He felt like he was encased in frozen water at the bottom of the ocean and no one was there to help him. When he turned, he saw the same dark figure from yesterday. 

 

“Hello, I’m Kim Namjoon. “ He said but he couldn’t hear it, he couldn’t hear anything but he could see it all. What was wrong with him? He felt like he was choking, the cold hand on his shoulder has now moved to his neck and was choking him. Why was this happening? 

 

“Hello, I’m Kim Namjoon.” He repeated but once again nothing was heard. The choking feeling was intensifying and he felt like he would faint again. He could see the figure waving at him as his eyes started to drop slowly before his head slammed against the hardwood table. Everything turned to chaos as people tried to get pictures of the idol. Seojoon struggled to pick Namjoon up and had to have some of the guards help him. 

 

_ “Shh darling, it will only hurt for right now.” He said as he pet the girls hair softly before shoving her face inside of the ice cold water. Her body struggled for a mere minute before going numb. He chuckled as he pulled her out of the water and grabbed the electric paddles and placing them on her chest.  _

 

_ She greedily took in a breath as she was brought back to life. He gasped loudly before clapping happily at the success of his experiment. He smiled as he caressed her hair before shoving her back into the water again. This cycle repeated six times before she stopped waking up.  _

 

_ “Awe no fun. Only 6. That was better than last time though.”  _

 

Namjoon woke up in a fright as he scrambled to take off the hands around his neck but there was nothing there. No one was there. He was alone in his room with Rapmon laying next to him. He needed help and he needed it now. He couldn’t do this anymore. It had to stop now. 

 

He grabbed his phone from where it was on his nightstand and called Jackson who rushed over to Namjoon’s house to keep him safe. Namjoon didn’t care anymore. He would not let Seojoon and BigHit control his life anymore but why was he all of a sudden so daring? That was not who he was. 

 

“Jackson.” 

 

“Seojoon.” 

 

Namjoon watched their interaction but why did he feel like this wasn’t him? 

 

“I’m leaving BigHit and I’m joining Hope World. This is my penthouse paid by my money. I know I will most likely not get my album back so I have no use for you anymore Seojoon. Leave now. “ Namjoon said in such a dark voice that sent shivers down both Seojoon and Jackson’s spine. 

 

This wasn’t him. This wasn’t Namjoon. 

 

“We will set you an appointment to meet with a doctor tomorrow. He is famous and works closely with our company in case any of our idols need it. “ Jackson said as he tucked Namjoon into bed, it was already 9 in the evening and he was tired but he was scared to go to sleep. Scared to have another dream like the ones he had been having for the past few nights. 

 

“Jackie, I think something is wrong with me. I don’t feel right.” Namjoon said quietly and Jackson nodded slowly as he placed a kiss on Namjoon’s forehead before walking out of the room to head back to his house. Namjoon stayed awake staring at the ceiling, hoping he can prevent his sleep but he still fell asleep. 

 

_ “Don’t worry it won’t hurt. You are safe okay?” He said as he held the baby close to his chest. He could hear the cries from the baby’s mother begging him to stop but how can he stop if he barely begun? He chuckled and opened the furnace before placing the baby in the midst of the fire. The screams and cries were like music to his ears.  _

 

_ He walked over to the mother and dragged her onto his surgery table. He tied her down and injected her with a tranquilizer that would have her stop moving. He grabbed his knife and begun to cut along her head until her skull opened to reveal her brain, he reveled in the sight of the brain and cut it out before placing it in a jar. He dragged her to the furnace and threw her in with her child.  _

 

_ “What a beauty you are.” He said as he caressed the jar containing the brain.  _

 

Another nightmare. When will this stop? As he turned to his side to face Rapmon, he saw two figures. The usual dark one and a white one that hovered over his puppy. What was going on? 

 


	4. Knowledge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon gains some knowledge that leaves him asking more questions

**Kim Namjoon leaves BigHit!?!?!?!?!**

_ Anyone who knows Kim Namjoon or BigHit know that they have been together since the beginning. Namjoon was the first idol at BigHit and by far the best one there now. Rumors had began that BigHit was maltreating Kim Namjoon and other idols who work there after Kim Namjoon fainted during a press conference to address the dating rumors between him and Jackson Wang and his expansion in music. Late last night, Hope World released a statement regarding Kim Namjoon, excerpt below.  _

 

We here at Hope World, love and care for our idols and believe that they should have free reign to do whatever pleases them while also having the help of doctors if times get tough. I recently met Kim Namjoon while going out to Ilsan with GOT7. Our meeting was not planned nor was it staged, it was all in the spur of the moment but I could easily see that Kim Namjoon was not happy and it was noticeable by the dark circles under his eyes. I had offered him a position better than the one he had at BigHit but did not force or give him a deadline for an answer. After watching videos of his conference where he did indeed faint, I was greatly worried for him not as an investment but as a person. He called Jackson Wang of GOT7 and Jackson informed me that he would greatly appreciate joining Hope World due to the fact that he has now left BigHit. So as of today, Kim Namjoon is no longer an idol under BigHit but an idol under Hope World. 

 

Jung Hoseok, CEO of Hope World

 

_ No one knows the reason why Namjoon has left his home company but fans are showing their support for the change by sending flowers to Hope World. Since the statement has been published, BigHit has seen a drastic decline in stocks while Hope World has seen a drastic increase in stocks. The power of Kim Namjoon everyone.  _

_ What do you think about Kim Namjoon leaving? Do you have any theories why? Leave you thoughts in the comments below.  _

 

Namjoon sat anxiously in the office of Dr. Min Yoongi who was a specialist in brain functions while also majoring in RGM, ReGainment of Memories.  __ He was worried to find out what was going on with him. He had already taken all the necessary tests and was just waiting for the results, his foot tapped repeatedly against the floor of the office as he tried to calm himself down. Namjoon turned to grab one of the magazines from the table and internally sighed when he saw that it was about RGM, everyone had to learn about it in their 10th year. 

 

**RGM : The condition that took over the world**

_ Regainment of Memories also known as RGM was first recorded in 1665 by a doctor named Maria De la Cruz. She began to notice that her patients were coming in speaking about gaining memories that could have never happened in the life that they lived, it clicked in her mind after her 36th case of people regaining memories. She began to do research of her own and found that in BCE Nubia, they believed that their Gods would bless them with memories from their past lives as both a punishment and a blessing. A punishment because if you did something bad in your previous life you would see it now in your current but a blessing because it was meant to teach you not to do what you had done in your previous life.  _

_ She planned an experiment using herself where she would leave a journal of her hypothesis and the notes to back up her belief and allow herself to die. She left her journal to her assistant, Kim Namseok. When Maria was reincarnated, she did not gain her memories until her early 20s and sought out Dr Kim who was able to confirm her as Dr Maria De la Cruz. The experiment proved successful and soon Regainment of Memories became a condition known by doctors everywhere.  _

_ Through the ages, more people began to come out about their RGM experiences. One condition plagued the world, SP RGM.  _

 

“Kim Namjoon.” The secretary called and Namjoon brought his head out of the magazine to look up at the lady. He nodded with a smile and placed the magazine back on the table before getting up and walking into the room with a label on it that said, Dr. Min Yoongi. 

 

“Namjoon please take a seat so we may discuss your results.” Dr Min said and Namjoon nodded slowly as he walked towards the chair that was right in front of the black haired males desk. He felt his palms start to sweat but he was happy that the cold feeling in his chest hadn’t come back yet. 

 

“I want you to tell me everything about your dreams and anything else that you believe could be useful knowledge for me as your doctor to know.” Yoongi said as he placed the results on his desk and pulled out a small journal so he could take notes on whatever the idol said because he had to make sure that what the results said were true. 

 

“Um well it started three days ago, it was just dreams or morely nightmares. They were very vivid and they weren’t like normal nightmares. These were like I was murdering people but I don’t know then whenever I had touched someone, I would get a memory but it wasn’t my own at all. Those memories were from different people because I had never met a Ji-Eun or have I ever called my previous manager Seojoonie or called my current CEO Hobi. I don’t know what is happening to me and then whenever I stare at myself too long in a mirror, I-..I see the room change to something else and there is always red and this person made out of black shadow but last night, I saw the black one as usual but I saw a white one hover over my new puppy. I just have no idea what is going on anymore. Sometimes I feel like I am underwater and I have no reason to scream for help because no one will hear me or understand me.” Namjoon said as he played with the rings around his finger to hopefully calm the anxiety that was building within him from talking about what had been happening the past few days. 

 

“Have you been feeling a cold feeling in your chest or feeling that you aren’t in control of your body or that someone else is in your head and trying to push you out?” Yoongi asked as he wrote down notes from what Namjoon had been saying. 

 

“Yes God that feeling is so ugh I don’t know. It is so weird. I get the cold chest before I see the shadow man and after seeing him, I feel something in my head and yesterday I had saw him and then I blacked out and ended up in bed but Jackson told me that I was up and talking but I didn’t seem like myself and at that conference where I had fainted the man was there and the cold feeling was too and he was choking me and I fainted.” Namjoon explained as he turned to look around his surroundings slowly. He could feel the coldness slowly coming but it was not starting from his chest but was instead starting from his feet and working it’s way up his body. 

 

“Namjoon, you are shivering. Is it too cold here? Would you like me to turn down the air or grab you a blanket?” Yoongi asked as he stared at the male with curiosity but also worry in his eyes. If the results and what Namjoon had said was true, he was surely suffering from a severe case of RGM which must have triggered his MDP and SP RGM. 

 

“I feel the coldness again but it is spreading everywhere Dr. Min.” Namjoon said quietly as he began to curl into himself, he was scared..absolutely terrified of what was happening. He could feel the cold hand on his shoulder again. He could see the room turning a red shade and soon he felt his normal feeling of being underwater. He could see the doctor running around the room looking for something but Namjoon didn’t know. He couldn’t feel anything, he was detaching from his body as if he was a snake leaving behind his old skin. He saw the dark man smile before he was brought back into the real world, he was greedily sucking air into his lungs as if he was truly underwater. 

 

“Namjoon this is serious. This is a lot more serious than I have ever seen and I need you to listen to me carefully.” Yoongi said as he grabbed Namjoon’s hand since it had always helped Jeongin to have someone touching him because it was as if they were the persons anchor. 

 

“You have one of  **_the_ ** rarest parts of RGM. You have MDP which is Mind DisPlacement which is why you see memories that don’t belong to you. The dreams you have been having are your memories from the past. I will help you discover what you actually were in your past but I can say most likely you were a murder and that is hard and that was the way the gods wanted it to be. You not only have Mind DisPlacement but also SP RGM which is Split Personality ReGainment of Memories which means that as you are regaining your memories from your past life, your past self will try to force itself into your body so that it can once again live another life. I won’t bore you with the statistics but I will recommend that you start writing down your dreams and having someone stay with you and if you can’t, I will offer to stay with you because I fully understand what you are going through.” Yoongi said as he rubbed his thumb over Namjoon's knuckles which were cold to touch. 

 

That would explain everything, why he was getting other memories and why he kept seeing the shadow man. He thought back to Jackson and how much he loved to make him smile. He couldn’t just give up easily. He had to fight not only for his friends but for himself but the guilt was drowning him, he felt like he was throw into the deepest parts of the ocean and there was no way for him to get out. He nodded slowly but even the movement felt wrong. 

“I don’t think I can be alone right now. I don’t think-” 

 

Repetition, Yoongi thought as he nodded and grabbed his phone so he could call Hoseok to allow Jackson to come take care of Namjoon whose face was growing cold from the air hitting the tears that were streaming down. Why was he crying? He didn’t know why. He couldn’t understand why but then he was brought back to his past. 

 

“I think my parents had it too.” Namjoon said as he thought about all the times his parents would act all weird in front of him, as if they weren’t themselves. It made sense to him now but was genetics even a part in whatever he had. 

 

“I know. I saw their reports. Both parents did but your father had it the worst but it greatly correlated with his drinking problem. “ Yoongi said as he spoke softly to Hoseok over the phone. 

 

_ “Ginnie please slow down. I can’t keep up with you. “ Yoongi cried as he ran after the taller male who was already halfway across the field, their house far in the distance as the two walked side by side with a dog by their side.  _

 

_ “I wanna show you this place I found Yoonie.” The taller said as he led his brother through the weeds and thorn bushes to a small abandoned farm with dunes of sand and rolls of hay. Jeongin showed his brother around the farm and even showed him the control to a small tractor that was parked in there.  _

 

_ They sat on the sand dune watching the sun set over the trees, both of them feeling at peace next to each other and they spoke about nothing yet everything but everything had changed when they walked back and Jeongin stopped him from walking inside their father’s house.  _

 

_ “I’m leaving soon okay? I want you to stay safe with mom for me okay?” Jeongin said and Yoongi nodded slowly as he grabbed their dogs leash and led her inside the maze of bottles.  _

 

_ Jeongin did indeed leave but not on the beautiful vacation he had told his brother. He left to an asylum to help himself.  _

 

“Your brother had what I had didn’t he?” Namjoon said quietly and Yoongi looked at him with shook before realizing they were still touching hands. The doctor said his goodbye to Hoseok and turned his full attention to Namjoon. 

 

“Yes, my older brother Jeongin has what you have. I couldn’t save him then because I was young but I will save you okay Namjoon. Jackson is on his way and he is gonna take you to stay at the GOT7 dorms.” Yoongi said and Namjoon nodded slowly as he retracted his hand from Yoongi’s. He could see the shadow man in the corner of the office but he didn’t feel the coldness. 

 

It only took 10 minutes for Jackson to arrive and soon they were on their way out, Namjoon left with not only a sea of guilt but a new contact in his phone who could possibly help him ride the waves of his guilt. The ride was silent until they arrived at the dorms, it was a mess but Namjoon felt comfortable. 

 

They watched movies and ate junk food which was surprising since Namjoon was never allowed to eat junk food at his old company. Everything felt great until it was time for bed, he was now anxious to sleep. Would he get another memory of a murder? Of his past life as a murder? 

 

_ “Okay open your mouth for me.” He said with a smile as he placed a small stick on the patients tongue so he could see if they had any problems. There were a few spots but nothing too drastic.  _

 

_ “Okay go out to your mommy.” He said as he helped the patient off of his table and opened the door for her to leave. He smiled as he heard the childs happy cries to be reunited with his mother.  _

 

_ “Baby I brought lunch.” His wife said as she walked into his office and placed the bag of food on his desk. Her baby bump showing proudly.  _

 

_ Then a loud slam and everything went red.  _

 

What happened? He was married? A baby? A slam? Red? 

 

Namjoon didn’t know if he was happy to not have a nightmare or terrified of what lied ahead for him. 


	5. Whereabouts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another session but was some progress made or did they step back more?

Transitioning business from Hope World to BigHit was most likely one of the most stressful part of Namjoon’s career. BigHit did not want to give over anything that Namjoon had worked on and would not let the idol go back to his studio to take all the stuff he had paid for with his own money. It took a whole week for them to finally have Namjoon settled in the small yet profitable company. Within the week time span, Namjoon’s nightmares had still continued along with his appointments with his doctor. They had confirmed his past and discovered that not only was he a serial murder but he was also a family doctor during the day, the guilt from just knowing of the murders grew as he saw pictures of his past self with smiling children who had no idea what happened when the lights went out. 

 

“Namjoon please stay with me. I want you to tell me about the dream you had that wasn’t about murder.” His doctor asked quietly as he looked at Namjoon with curious yet soft eyes, the younger had a blanket wrapped around himself because what Yoongi noticed was that whenever he talked about the dreams, his SP RGM would kick in. Namjoon looked at him with wide eyes that became clouded as he began to retell the dream he had had. 

 

“I was with a child, a patient I assume and I finished with them and then a woman came in and she said we were having lunch together and what I noticed was her baby bump. She was pregnant and then a loud slam and red. I don’t understand what happened because then I woke up but I was confused as to why I didn’t have a nightmare. This was just an odd dream.” Namjoon explained as the clouds in his eyes began to part and his natural brown eye color was back to normal. 

 

“Okay last night, I had done some research on Kim Woojin. He was married but everything had turned to shambles, two years into their marriage. That memory was actually a recorded memory because it made headlines in newspapers. I managed to get a hold of one and I summed it up for you. Basically Woojin and his wife, Hyuna, were having a child but the child wasn’t his and was actually his best friends, Chan. Woojin’s date with his wife was disrupted by Chan barging in and fighting with him because Hyuna had told Chan that Woojin had been hitting her but when police further investigated, it was false information. Their fight was brutal but it only got worse when Woojin pushed Hyuna and she fell and killed the baby. That was what the red was and that is why slams are so sensitive to you because you are still tightly connected to Woojin which is why he can easily take over you. It said that they lost the baby and that was when he started to lose it. I..well this is hard to say but I found one of the victims because I know you wanted to find them. “ Dr. Min said quietly as he looked down at the name written on the paper, he knew who the person was and he wondered if Namjoon knew as well. 

 

“Yes. I- well I wanna help them in anyway possible. I just feel so guilty and I understand that it was my past life but that was still me and I want to help them if they allow me to.” Namjoon said quietly as he tightened the blanket around him, he felt the eyes of the shadow man on him but he was trying not to focus on it. 

 

“Okay...his current name is Kim Taehyung. The name he went by in his previous life was Lee Taeyong. From what I read about your murders, he suffered the most. You had murdered his whole family while he slept in a room away. I read that he was put into an orphanage afterwards now that all his family was dead. They had went to a cabin to celebrate a birthday when at night, you snuck in and mutilated them all. “ Yoongi said calmly as he glanced over at Namjoon to see if he recognized the name or showed any sign of guilt. 

 

Namjoon’s face dropped as he buried his head within the blanket, his heart hurt. How could he have possibly done this? Why would someone kill a whole family? Why would someone kill at all. He felt the warm tears rushing down his face as his shoulders racked with sobs, why did the gods have to give him back his memories? He would have rathered lived a life as an abnormal than have the memories of his dark past. 

 

“Why did you do it?” Namjoon asked as he pulled his head out of the blanket to face the corner where the shadow man was standing, his face was now viewable and it disturbed Namjoon how much they looked alike. Maybe every life is a same body but a different personality which would change the soul. The shadow man looked at Namjoon with a tilted head as he smiled a dark smile that had shivers going down the idols back. 

 

Yoongi stared at Namjoon who was staring at corner in the office, what was Namjoon doing? In all his research, he had never heard about a patient trying to speak with their past self but then again most people who had SP RGM where admitted into a mental hospital and would soon die because most doctors didn’t know what to do. Namjoon didn’t know that his survival rates have now began to drop due to the arrival of his new condition. 

 

“ Don’t fucking smile at me like that! Why did you do? Why did you kill all those people!” Namjoon yelled at the corner as his shaking started to increase quickly. Yoongi was switching his gaze between the idol and the corner he was screaming at. He didn’t know if he should stop it or not but maybe this could help Namjoon get some answers but Yoongi knew he had to stop it when he heard the dark and bone chilling voice that spoke only three words. 

 

“Whereabouts of love.” 

 

“Namjoon! Namjoon listen to me okay? I want you to follow my voice okay?” Yoongi said as he turned Namjoon’s head away from where it was so they could look eye to eye. With their faces mere centimeters away, it could have easily been intimate but all Yoongi cared about was helping his patient get out of whatever trance he was in. 

 

His body felt cold, as if he was just dumped into a freezing ocean. Scenes were flashing before his eyes so quickly that if he blinked they would be missed. He could hear Yoongi’s cries for him but he felt like he was being pulled away from his body again, his skin was peeling off as a snake would then he felt like he was floating. As he floated the voice got louder until his eyes were opened and his eyes were met with his doctors. 

“I want you to tell me your name. The name of your current CEO, your current best friend, doctor and dog.” Yoongi said as he rubbed his thumb against the youngers cheekbones as he hoped to calm the violent shaking. The youngers eyes were still cloudy but the clouds were beginning to disappear. 

 

“Kim Namjoon, Jung Hoseok, Jackson Wang, Dr. Min Yoongi and Rapmon.” Namjoon said quietly and Yoongi sighed happily as he continued to rub the youngers cheeks until he had stopped shaking. Their session carried on for an additional hour but Yoongi didn’t feel so bad because he didn’t have another appointment scheduled until later because he never liked to have patients be in the same room for confidentiality reasons. 

 

“Jackson is already waiting in the lobby. I want you to come see me tomorrow after you meet with Taehyung okay? “ Yoongi asked as he squeezed Namjoon’s hand so the younger would look back at him and not the corner where he had last seen the shadow man. Namjoon nodded slowly before getting up and folding the blanket before handing it to Yoongi. 

 

“Goodbye Yoongi. I will see you tomorrow.” Namjoon said as he walked out of the office and into the waiting room where his best friend sat reading the same magazine Namjoon had read when he had his first appointment. Jackson drove him back to his house where the older cooked some ramen before setting everything up so the two could have a movie night. 

 

“Let’s watch Kimi no na wa. “ Namjoon yelled from the kitchen as he served the ramen for the two before bringing the food over and placing it on the large table that the younger had. The two happily watched multiple movies before Jackson helped put Namjoon to sleep. 

 

_ “Leave him alone. He is still a child and I will not have you harming him. “ A female said as she pushed the shadow man away from a sleeping Namjoon. The shadow man smirked as he looked at the white shadow.  _

 

_ “You really think you can stop me? How could you if you never had the guts to do it before?” The shadow man said in his dark voice as he moved closer to Namjoon before being pushed away yet again.  _

 

_ “Leave him alone Woojin.”  _

 

What? Namjoon didn’t have a nightmare? Why was that? Namjoon turned to look at Rapmon who was standing at attention and looking off into a corner. 

 

“Go back to sleep baby.” 

 


	6. Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kim to Kim

_ Kim Taehyung _

_ Penthouse #1404 _

_ XXX-XXX-XXXX _

 

Namjoon stared at the card as he tried to run the situations through his head. How does he explain to someone that he murdered their family in a previous life and now wants to right the wrongs that his past self did. He was nervous and it was easy to tell as he scratched at his wrist with the cloth of his shirt, he could feel a recent wound open as the elevator opened. It wasn’t like his penthouse where it brought you straight into the house, this complex had it so that the elevator took you to the floor where you would then walk to the one or two doors on that floor but in Namjoon’s case. There was only one door. 

 

His feet felt heavy as he walked towards the door, he could feel the warmth of the blood spilling from his open wound as he wiped it onto the inside of his shirt and removed his hand from his wrist to put it into his jacket pocket after knocking on the door. He could hear a high pitched bark that reminded him of his own puppy who had been a sort of savior to the idol. He closed his eyes as he tried to calm his breathing down, the coldness was nowhere to be felt. He was alone and he didn’t know whether that scared him more than when he was accompanied by the shadow man. 

 

“Hello, may I help you?” A deep voice said which called Namjoon out of his own head. There stood a tall man, probably almost as tall as Namjoon, in white loose pants and a loose black sweatshirt with a small fluffy dog in his arms. The idol felt scared as he started to fiddle with the card that was in his jacket pocket, he could feel the man's eyes on him which only frightened him more. 

 

“Are you Kim Taehyung?” Namjoon asked quietly as he focused on the males nose instead of his eyes, he felt that he couldn’t look into his eyes knowing what he had done to ruin the man’s life. Namjoon heard the man mutter a soft yes as he bent down to place his dog who ran away, he was now leaning against the door. 

 

“I-I..” How could he say it? The idol didn’t know how to say what he needed to say. 

 

“You seem nervous. Come inside and I’ll make some tea.” Taehyung said as he turned and walked into his penthouse. Namjoon stood in the doorway for a few moments before snapping back into his body and following Taehyung, his penthouse was gorgeous. There were paintings and albums everywhere and he could even see a guitar resting in a corner. There was also pictures of Taehyung with two other men and for some reason, one of them felt familiar. 

 

“I had made tea earlier so I’ll just heat it up. Feel free to wander around my first floor.” Taehyung said casually as he walked into what Namjoon assumed was the kitchen and soon he could hear the sound of cups clattering and it had him calming down for some unknown reason. Namjoon walked around the living room and studied the art that was hanging on the walls, they were beautiful and it was easy to tell that they were also very expensive. Namjoon didn’t realize he had stopped until he felt a warm hand on his shoulder. 

 

“That was me-” 

 

“You and Hobi. I don’t know the other person but I know that picture. I- I saw that. I was there. You and some other kid were chasing after Hobi and you tackled him to the ground, I don’t know who took the picture but I remember that. “ Namjoon said without realizing what he just said, he placed the photo back down before walking over to the couch and grabbing the tea. He left Taehyung standing in absolute shock, no one but the three in the picture knew about the background of the picture. How did this stranger know? 

 

“Who are you?” Taehyung said and it was easy for Namjoon to tell that he was scared, he saw it when the male turned around to look at Namjoon. His hands were shaking the way that Namjoon’s would get when got scared. 

 

“This is really hard to explain and I’m going to need you to sit down. “ He said as he spoke in a similar way that Yoongi had spoken to him when the doctor had first explained what was going on with him. He was scared to tell someone he didn’t know because what if it leaked to the public but Namjoon had to help the victims. Taehyung stared at him but nodded slowly and walked over to the other couch and sat down slowly while keeping a watchful eye on the stranger who was sat on his couch, 

 

“Tell me who you are.” Taehyung insisted now that he was sat on the couch across from the male. Namjoon breathed in and out slowly as he let his fingers fiddle with each other to help his growing anxiety. 

 

“I’m Kim Namjoon. You don’t know-” 

 

“I know you. How did you know about that memory? How did you know where I lived?” Taehyung asked and Namjoon looked at him with wide eyes, how did the male know who he was? Was he a fan, was he gonna tell the public if he told him the truth? Namjoon’s eyes filled with fear at the thought of the public finding out, the cold feeling was starting up again but from his fingertips. 

 

“I’m not some crazy fan if that is what you are worried about. I know of you because of Hobi. He always talks about you so don’t worry. I saw the fear in your eyes. Now answer my questions.” Taehyung said calmly, he easily understood the fear of fans. That’s the one reason his relationship wasn’t out in the open because he is terrified of what the fans and public will think and what will happen to his partners career. 

 

“I..My doctor told me where you lived. “

 

“Fucking Yoongi..I’m gonna beat his short ass into next fucking year. Continue.” Taehyung said as he stared at the male as if he was trying to see through him, it scared Namjoon if he was being completely honest. He nodded slowly and looked at Taehyung and focused on him and not the shadow man who was beginning to form behind Taehyung. 

 

“I just started getting my RGM. I’m special, that’s what my doctor tells me. I..I have MDP, that was how I knew that memory. When I first met Hoseok and I shook his hand, I saw that memory and I was terrified because I still had no idea what was going on. I just knew I was having terrifying nightmares and anytime I touched someone, I would get some memory of theirs. Not only do I have MDP b-but I have SP RGM. Kim Taehyung, I started to regain my memories from my past life and my doctor and I talked about it and he said it would be easier for me to talk with the victims, it would help my guilt. “ Namjoon said as he looked down at the floor, he couldn’t bear to watch the change in Taehyung’s face. He could hear and feel the anxiousness and sadness radiating off of the male. 

 

“What do you mean victims?” Taehyung said and his voice was shaky as he felt himself start to feel overwhelmed as memories from his youth in the orphanage started to hit him. The only pretty thing in his youth was his partners. He probably wouldn’t have still been alive if it wasn’t for them. 

 

“Namjoon answer me. What do you mean victims!” Taehyung yelled as his chest started to hurt at the voices of the kids who used to taunt him and bully him and tell him what had happened to his family. He could feel the hot tears running down his face as he looked over at the male sitting on the other couch, his head was grasping at his hair as his shoulders shook violently. 

 

“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so so sorry. You have no idea how much guilt I’m in because of what happened. I-I.. I killed your family.. “ Namjoon said as he continued to grip at his hair, he could hear the sob that had escaped Taehyung’s chest as the words reached his ears. The coldness was everywhere. He was drowning, he couldn’t be there anymore. He had to leave. 

 

“I’m so so sorry. I-I’ll just go.” Namjoon said as he stood up quickly without looking at Taehyung and walked out of the penthouse and straight past the tall male who had just left the elevator. Namjoon pressed the buttons repeatedly until the door closed and he was alone. He let out a heart wrenching sob as he grabbed his phone from his pocket and called Yoongi. The doctor didn’t answer, he knew Jackson wouldn’t answer because his best friend was at practice for a comeback show they had that night. 

 

He was alone. As he drove home, his vision would blur out to the point where he could crash but Namjoon didn’t care. He didn’t feel anything but pain so what would a car crash do to him but add more pain to what he was already feeling. As soon as he got into his penthouse, he went straight to his bathroom to rest in the bath. 

 

It was barely 5 but he felt so tired, so exhausted of everything. He could still hear the sobs in his head. The red was so weird against the paleness of the soap but it looked cool but as Namjoon allowed his body to soak into the bath, he felt the soap and water pressing against his wounds. It was just more pain to his plate but he didn’t care. The red was such a nice contrast as his eyes started to drop down, he could hear Rapmon’s barks and shh-ed him with the little energy he had left. 

 

As the blood slipped out so did his energy and he finally felt calm. The coldness was gone but he could still see the shadow man standing tall and proud. Namjoon chuckled softly as his eyes finally closed. 

 

_ “Please don’t go. Please I beg of you. I love you. I love you so fucking much, you can’t leave me. I need you please.” Woojin begged as he crawled over to the woman and grabbed her leg so she couldn’t move. She growled at the male and shook him off her leg before continuing to pack her bag.  _

 

_ “No. It’s already over.”  _

 

It’s already over but why were there such loud screams.

  
  
  



	7. Similarity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was all so similar.

This was too similar and it hurt him, god it hurt him so much as he watched his patient get rolled into ICU so they could treat his cuts which were severe. How could Yoongi have not noticed? Was he that oblivious?

 

That’s all he could think about while he sat in the waiting room, it took a few hours until they allowed Yoongi to go see Namjoon in his new room. Paparazzi were already starting to come and the doctor hated it, how could people be so obsessed with their own work that they don’t care about the pain they are causing others.

 

_“We are going to Jeju so Jeongin watch Yoongi or if you don’t want to just send him back with your mom.” Their father said before he left the house with all the money in his pocket and a young girl around his arm. Yoongi was too young to realize it was bad but his brother was always there to remind him that things would get better. He would always believe his older brother because his older brother knew best._

 

_“Okay Yoongs. Dad is gone and I know you have been wanting to go explore the new neighborhood so I’ll take you.” Jeongin said with a smile but he did not move from his spot at all. He sat down and just stared at the screen as his hands moved quickly and soon a song was playing, a song Yoongi had never heard before._

 

_Kill your heroes by Awolnation._

 

_The video was great but there was three kids. It had only ever been Jeongin and Yoongi. Jeongin smiled as the video came to an end and soon he was on his feet walking to his room to get changed but what Yoongi didn’t know was that he didn’t only get changed, he also took a shot and a small amount of cocaine._

 

_They soon left their house to wander around the small neighborhood. Their mom lived only a few neighborhoods away because she didn’t trust their father with Yoongi, he was still too young and their father was still too reckless. They talked about nothing yet everything like they always did when they talked. Yoongi told his older brother about a friend who was mean to him because Yoongi didn’t want to do what the friend wanted to do which had Jeongin on a whole rant about peer pressure._

 

_They soon arrived at a house that was not yet complete. There was dirt and supplies everywhere and Yoongi remembered how happy Jeongin sounded as he said that he will teach him how to break a window. Jeongin did teach Yoongi how to break a window but he was lying about his happiness because a few days later once Yoongi had returned back with his mother. They had gotten a call that Jeongin had just been admitted into the hospital because he had tried to kill himself. Yoongi was only 10 while his brother was merely 16._

 

“Namjoon I need you to wake up please. I don’t want to lose you. The longer you stay here the more likely it is that they will notice that you have SP RGM. If other people find out they will send you away just like they did Jeongin. Please don’t go. “ Yoongi pleaded as he held the youngers hand softly as he rested his head on the bed.  

 

Yoongi sat in his seat as his hand rested in over the sleeping mans hand. His arms were wrapped in gauze that were a light shade of red due to some blood slipping out of the wounds. Namjoon was slowly becoming more and more like Jeongin and Yoongi was afraid that he would lose the younger because of it.

 

The door was opened and soon a doctor walked into the room with a clipboard in hand and Yoongi automatically knew that they were going to start asking questions and Yoongi was not prepared to answer questions yet. He had contacted Jackson and Hoseok already but neither have gotten back to him.

 

“Dr. Min, I have to ask you some questions about the patient.” The doctor said and Yoongi nodded slowly with a frown as he sat up and looked at the doctor who was taking Namjoon’s vitals.

 

“Why are you the only one here with him?” The doctor had and the black haired male frowned as he understood what the female doctor was insinuating. How does he explain it without it being suspicious? If he said why he was truly there then they would take Namjoon away but Yoongi couldn’t and wouldn’t let that happen.

 

“He is a friend of a friend. He had been suffering from a loss lately and a lot of stress so I went to go see him and I found him in the tub and I took him to the hospital.” Yoongi lied carelessly, it was better than to say the truth. The female nodded before walking out of the room and leaving Yoongi alone with his thoughts and his unconscious patient.

 

**Jung Hoseok**

_What do you mean he had tried to commit suicide Yoongi?_

5:46 PM

 

**Min Yoongi**

_I mean exactly that Hoseok, Namjoon had tried to commit suicide. I had a miss call from him and when I tried to call back he didn’t answer so I left work and went to his house to find him in his tub with blood everywhere. We are at the hospital right now but I need him to wake up soon because if they decide to run some tests on him, they will find out that he has SP RGM and MDP and any doctor knows that that is a deadly combination._

5:47 PM

**Jung Hoseok**

_Fuck okay. I will have Jackson head over after the stage is over._

5:48 PM

 

Everything felt so wrong. How could he have not noticed that Namjoon was in pain? That he was in so much pain that he would even try and kill himself. He felt so stupid that he couldn’t realize the simple fact. There were so many signs but Yoongi never saw them.

 

By the time that Jackson arrived, it was already late into the night and Yoongi was asleep in his chair while his hand was still holding Namjoon’s. Jackson thought it was cute and sweet that Yoongi had stayed so long.

 

**Jackson Wang**

_I know you wanted me to tell Yoongi to call you but he is asleep and it is so cute, Hoseok. Namjoon is still asleep and when I talked with the nurse, she said that Namjoon has not woken up yet but that is normal so we should not worry unless he doesn’t wake up for two days._

10:57 PM

 

**Jung Hoseok**

_Okay, well head home because tomorrow you have practice. I had talked with Yoongi’s secretary and she said that he had canceled all his appointments so I’ll tell him to text us updates on Namjoon’s condition._

11:01 PM

 

**Kim Namjoon admitted to a hospital due to a suicide attempt**

_It has been a rocky few weeks for Namjoon since his departure from BigHit and joining Hope World. No one has really seen him lately but he has been seen leaving his apartment around the same time daily. He was seen early afternoon arriving at his apartment in tears. No one knows what is going on with the idol but at 3:00 PM, people saw the idol arrive at the hospital. It was released by an unnamed source that the idol had attempted suicide._

_Once again, no one knows why._

 

_!!! UPDATE !!!_

 

_Jackson Wang was just seen leaving the same hospital Namjoon was in. He recently posted a picture of three hands piled on top of each other with the caption “we are here”._

_What is happening?_

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the memories between Yoongi and Jeongin are slightly distorted memories between my brother and I so that is why Awolnation is here and that song is a great song :)


	8. Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Namjoon was special but special isn't always good

Everything felt so dark and cold, why was that? When Namjoon turned his head, he saw nothing but darkness as if he was thrown to the bottom of the ocean. He could hear the drip drop of a faucet and when he turned to address the noise, the faucet which was originally small grew to the size of a house. Clots of blood started to fall and turn the dark water into a scarlet mix, it floated around Namjoon and made him feel sick to his stomach. 

 

“Hello,” he said calmly although he was terrified about what had happened to him. His word echoed throughout the cavern as he walked slowly through the unknown area. He could hear footsteps following behind him which just caused him to speed up more in hopes that he could lose whatever was following. He watched as a rock was ejected from the group as if the gods blessed Namjoon with a hiding spot from whatever was following him. He ran over to the rock and sat down as he wrapped his arms around his knees and tried to calm down. 

 

He could feel the coldness creeping up on him and could feel them clutching onto his shoulders, pulling at his limbs. It hurt but when Namjoon tried to scream his mouth was covered by a hand he knew all too well, it was odd having the hand on his mouth and not his neck. 

 

“Shh don’t worry Namjoon. We just want to show you something.” He said in his usual dark voice as the darkness began to fade and a white light came into its place. It soon showed a scene Namjoon had seen before, he had been there. 

 

_ “I’m so so sorry. I-I’ll just go.” Namjoon said before standing up and leaving, leaving Taehyung all by himself as his mind tried to wrap around what he was just told. That man, the man his partner just added to his company was the person who had murdered his family albeit in his past life. Taehyung was too caught up in his pain that he didn’t notice his partner arriving to their shared penthouse.  _

 

_ “Tae, why did you leave the door open and why did a guy just leave the house crying? Did you just insult some- Tae! What happened baby!” Jin yelled as his expression changed quickly after seeing his partner on the couch crying his precious heart out. Jin ran over to the younger and wrapped his arms around him tightly.  _

 

_ “I- I got the truth I guess.” Taehyung sobbed out as he turned to bury his face in the olders chest. His chest hurt so much as he tried to suck up air but his lungs wouldn’t allow him, everything was becoming hazy. What was happening to him?  _

 

_ Jin was able to tell that the younger was going through a panic attack and held him closer as he whispered sweet little nothings to try and calm him down, it didn’t work and soon he had a fainted Taehyung in his arms. It hurt the oldest to see his partner with tear stains on his face. Whoever did this was going to pay and that is a for sure thing.  _

 

Namjoon had tears streaming down his face but the tears weren’t water based but were blood based. He had blood tears running down his face and he felt nothing but pain as the shadow people laughed at him. They were joyous of his pain. 

 

“See Namjoon, you are special not only can you see people's memories if you touch them but you can will yourself to see through their eyes. Now isn’t that cool? That’s cool guys right?” The main shadow man asked and his people cheered their agreement. 

 

Namjoon wanted to leave, he wanted to get out of wherever he was. He couldn’t be here anymore. He had to-

 

The pain. It was excruciating. He tried to scream but nothing left his mouth. It continued, each shadow person stabbing a point in Namjoon’s body before cutting open the skin and breaking the bone with their bare hands. Why? What had he done to have been given the memories of this mad man? To have been forced to live through. 

 

Why couldn’t he have just died in the fire? 

 

~

 

His eyes began to open slowly and it took a while for his eyes to adapt to the light creeping in through the window and not the darkness that he was forced to live through. Why did his hand feel so hot? When he looked down to answer his question, he saw his doctor holding his hand tightly. It brought a soft smile to his face as he removed his hand slowly so he could place it on the olders cheek. That was when he noticed the bandages around his arm when he turned to look at the other arm, he saw that it also had bandages. 

 

“Fuck.” Namjoon said quietly as he felt the tears start to flow down his face, he was glad that they weren’t made of blood like his tears from before. His shoulders started to shake furiously as he started to sob, why couldn’t he have just been normal? 

 

It took over 30 minutes for Namjoon to finally calm down and what surprised the younger was that Yoongi didn’t wake up at all. When Namjoon tried to move his arm to the side so he could grab the remote, he was hit with a piercing pain racing from his hand to his chest which caused him to drop the remote onto the floor which woke up Yoongi with a jump. 

 

“Namjoon?” He asked hesitantly as he rubbed at his eyes, he was happy that the younger was finally awake but then he felt the anger starting to boil over. 

 

“How could you have done that? I can’t fucking believe you Namjoon! You know how worried I was! I thought I had lost you as well!” Yoongi yelled as he pulled himself away from Namjoon and glared at the younger who had eyes that were wide open and showed the pain but also the sorrow that he felt. 

“I-I had went to go talk with Taehyung like you said and it didn’t go well. I..I felt so guilty and I kept thinking about how come I didn’t die in the fire like my mom, things would have been so much easier if I had.” Namjoon said quietly as he stared at the wall in front of him, the shading was off as if they had to redo it. 

 

“Namjoon..” Yoongi said and it was easy to tell that he was hurt by the voice crack, he was trying to hold back his tears but he hadn’t realize that they begun to fall already. He didn’t want to lose anyone else, he couldn’t lose anyone else. 

 

“Yoongi, I’m sorry..I just can’t this is so much..it hurts so much. I feel like my heart is just being ripped out and ran over everyday. I hadn’t cut to kill myself but just to feel something, anything besides this numbness that has become my only friend lately. “ Namjoon said as he looked down at his arms, he still could only feel the pain. Pain and numbness were hand in hand like a pair of younger siblings who believed they could take on the world, how naive. Unaware of how cruel the world truly was. Dreams don’t happen in the real world, pain does, numbness does. 

 

“I know it does. You feel like your drowning. You are thrown into the deepest part of the sea and you feel no reason to yell for help because no one will hear you. It’s cold, borderline freezing and everything should hurt and sometimes you feel that hurt for a bit but then you are back to numbness. You are tied down to the bottom of the ocean and you can’t get it. I know that feeling, I understand it Namjoon.” Yoongi said as more tears started to fall down his face as his fingers crept up his sleeve to brush over the scars that littered his wrist. 

 

“How-” 

 

“I was there, I was at the bottom of the ocean too. With nothing but my pain and numbness as my friends. I swam up and now I linger over the top of the water. Let me help you please. “ Yoongi said as he moved forward and grabbed the youngers hand and held it tightly as he repeated the last word of his sentence, please. 

 

Let me help you. He had heard those words so often lately but he never felt like anyone had helped him. Hoseok had helped him out of his sticky situation but then Namjoon went and stabbed him in the back by hurting his childhood friend. Jackson tried to help him but he stabbed him by allowing his demons to get the best of him. He didn’t want to hurt Yoongi, he couldn’t hurt him. He cared too much for him but it was different then how he cared with Jackson. 

 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Namjoon said quietly as he tried to take his hand away from where it was clasped with Yoongi’s. 

 

“You won’t. Let me help you.” 

 

“Okay.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> School starts on the 20th of August and it is the 17th of August eek  
> Updates might be a little slower when school starts until I get used to the work load but who knows when I wrote One More Night, it was last year during school and I used to write a lot because writing helps with my stress.   
> I am highlighting my hair purple in like an hour or so, so hopefully that looks good.   
> Thea ~


	9. Victims

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New victims but old people

Two new nightmares all in one night, Namjoon had never had that happen before. It was always one murder per nightmare per night but why was there two? His eyes hurt as he forced them open to see Yoongi staring intently on his phone, a deep frown lingered on the doctors face and for some reason Namjoon had the urge to kiss the frown away but he wouldn't allow whatever he was feeling to come between his recovery and adaption. 

“Yoongi what are you doing?” Namjoon asked quietly as he turned his head slowly to focus on the smaller who looked up from his phone and smiled softly. That was better, Namjoon thought as he smiled as well. He rarely would frown around the male because he always made him happy. 

“I..I’m doing research on Woojin. I had found another victim..well victims and I got in contact with them. They will be coming to visit us in a couple of hours so you have time to prepare. They already know what happened to you so don’t worry about it. I also invited Taehyung so you can explain things and if it becomes too hard, I’m here to help.” Yoongi said as he placed his phone down and grabbed Namjoon’s hand and held it tightly like he used to do with Jeongin. 

“Will you tell me what I had done to them, please?” Namjoon asked as he looked down at Yoongi with wide eyes that showed how close he was to tears. He knew he had to meet the people and help them as much as possible but it also hurt to realize that he had caused people so much pain when he only ever wanted to help people. 

“Moon Taeil saw his parents get murdered in front of him as a child and that left him traumatized. He soon met a girl and they had a kid named Kim Seokjin. Seokjin had to help his father after his mother got dementia. His father was a drunk and a mad man after witnessing what he had witnessed. Kim Seokjin has agreed to see you. The next victim who will see you was Jung Hoseok, he had always been close with his uncle who had basically raised him but also in his childhood his uncle Seo Youngho was killed. Jung Hoseok has agreed to see you as well.” Yoongi said and he felt weird talking about his friends that way, as if they were just pawns but he didn’t want Namjoon to realize who they were just yet. It would add way more stress onto Namjoon. 

Jung Hoseok? There has got to be plenty of Jung Hoseok’s in Seoul so he doesn’t have to worry that it was his boss. It’s probably just someone else with the same name. Namjoon was anxious but he felt calmer because he knew that Yoongi was going to be there with him, if Yoongi wasn’t there he probably would be panicking like when he met Taehyung. 

“I remember those dreams. I have already seen their death before. I remember seeing Seo Youngho, he was my second dream and I remember Moon Taeil. I had let him go because I want him to fester in hatred and catch me one day. “ Namjoon said as he felt the coldness in his chest as he talked about the murders, it felt weird talking about them but as he looked around the room. He saw that the shadow man was nowhere to be seen. 

“Not you Namjoon. Woojin had done all this. This wasn’t you.” Yoongi said and Namjoon nodded slowly as he felt his eyes begin to close, he was tired again. That has been all he does since he came to the hospital. Wake up, talk with Yoongi, sleep, repeat. The same schedule, it was getting boring and Namjoon just wanted to go home and sit on his porch and listen to the music flow from his living room. 

“While you were asleep, I talked with the doctors and they said that this afternoon you can leave. You are gonna stay with me for a while and I already had Jackson take Rapmon to my house so he can sleep with you.” Yoongi said and Namjoon nodded slowly before yawning softly and grabbing his bear that his doctor had given him to help sleep. 

Yoongi watched him fall asleep and once he was sure that the younger was asleep, he got up and walked out of the room and down the hall where Jackson was waiting. The best friend stood in a black tank top and black shorts as if he had just gotten back from exercising. Yoongi watched as the nurses fawned at Jackson who merely smiled back as he sat down next to Yoongi. 

“How is he doing? Did he pick up on it or no?” Jackson asked quietly as he turned to face Yoongi who had dark circles under his eyes for the lack of sleep he had been getting ever since Namjoon was admitted into the hospital. 

“He didn’t pick up on it but he is fine. He sleeps a lot but he only gets his memories when he sleeps at night. He says when he takes his naps they are dreams he had already had. He is getting discharged today and thank you for taking Rapmon to my place. I know how much Namjoon needs something to hold when he sleeps. “ Yoongi said and Jackson nodded with a smile as he placed his hand on Yoongi’s shoulder. 

“Take it easy okay? Don’t stress too much, it’ll stress out Joon as well.” Jackson said and Yoongi nodded before saying his goodbyes and walking back to the room. He would try and take a small nap before the trio of victims got there because he knew that would take out a lot of his energy. 

When Yoongi had woken up, his phone was bombarded by texts from Hoseok, Seokjin and Taehyung who all took turns spamming him into consciousness. Yoongi turned to look at Namjoon who was still fast asleep clutching his bear for dear life. He would wake him up after talking with the trio, Yoongi got up swiftly and quietly and walked out of the room and towards the spot where the trio were at. 

“You better have a good ass explanation for why I shouldn’t kick your ass right now Min Yoongi.” Seokjin said as he glared at the shorter male, he would have been scared but if he was being honest out of the three. The only one who scared him was Hoseok because that man would break someone's neck if they even looked at one of his partners or employees the wrong way. 

“Namjoon has to do this, this is to help him cope with everything and I know it hurt Tae to hear what happened but imagine all the guilt that Namjoon is going through. He has nightmares anytime he sleeps whether a nap or sleep. This is killing him and talking to..victims should help relieve some of the guilt that it wasn’t him who did this.” Yoongi explained as he stared at the three hoping to see some understanding come to their face. He saw the glimmer first in Taehyung and then Hoseok and lastly Seokjin. 

“Please try and understand that when you see him. He is stable and has been for a few days but he is fragile.” Yoongi said and the trio nodded before Yoongi led them into Namjoon’s room where the idol was still fast asleep. What shocked the three the most was the bear that was clutched in his bandaged arms. 

“Joon, wake up.” Yoongi said quietly as he ran his hand through the youngers hair to try and get him up. It took a few seconds before the younger was conscious again, his eyes were closed as he situated himself into a sitting position with help from Yoongi. 

“You can open your eyes don’t worry. He isn’t here.” Yoongi said with a soft frown as he remembered the incident that happened yesterday afternoon. The younger was waking up from a nap and when he opened his eyes, he was met with the darkness from his dream because the shadow man was messing with him again. Yoongi learned how to feel when the man was there because the room would suddenly get freezing cold. Namjoon opened his eyes slowly and was surprised to find three tall males standing at the foot of his bed, he recognized two only. 

So the Jung Hoseok was his CEO Jung Hoseok. Of course it was. Why was he surprised. He didn’t realize he was squeezing his hand until he felt Yoongi’s other hand loosening the grip.

“Sorry.” He said quietly to Yoongi as he turned to look back at the three who were staring at him with curious eyes, he felt like an animal on display at a pet store. 

“Namjoon I see you are healing fine. I haven’t introduced you to my boyfriends, this is Jin and you have already met Tae. Yoongi told us you have something to say to us and to Tae.” Hoseok said and Namjoon nodded slowly as he closed his eyes and tried to calm his anxiousness. He could do this, he repeated in his head before opening his eyes again. 

“Taehyung, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for what I had done. I know sorry won’t bring your family back but believe me when I say I wish I could turn back time so that I could have somehow prevented it. Hoseok and Seokjin, Yoongi had informed me that you two were also my v-victims. I remember Hoseok that Youngho was one of the earliest nightmares I had, I remember being absolutely terrified of what I was seeing. I still am but I guess I have gotten used to it. It hurts a lot sometimes-.. I..it just sucks. I never asked for this, I never wanted to be attached to Woojin like I am forced to be. Things just would have been so much easier if-” 

“Namjoon. No it wouldn’t have. Stop saying that. Things would have been harder if anything because if you had died in the fire then in your next life not only would you be plagued with the memories of Kim Namjoon but also Kim Woojin. “ Yoongi said as he squeezed the males hand in a warning. 

“What he means to say is that he feels extremely guilty for all the pain he has caused you three in your youth and if there is anything he could do to help you whether it be money or connections then he will do it. “ Yoongi said as he had practiced all those times in his head while Namjoon was fast asleep. 

Seokjin was looking at the duo with a face of numbness but Yoongi can see the pain but also the understanding hidden behind his eyes. Namjoon probably couldn’t see it since he didn’t know Jin but Yoongi could. Taehyung had silent tears rolling down his face because he knew, he knew what it was like to have wanted to die in a scenario where you managed to live while others died around you. He understood completely because that was how he felt for most of the years that he spent in the orphanage. Hoseok was frowning as he continued to sniffle, he didn’t want to cry but feeling the sadness from both his boyfriends was getting to him. He understood but he also didn’t but he would make an effort to be better for Namjoon. 

“We understand, all of us do. We all had a tough past. Tae with the orphanage, Jin with his dad and me with my mom. We had a tough time but we also had each other which made the times not so bad. It will take a while for us to get around to being friends but we will make an effort and we don’t want anything of yours, we want you to be safe. That’s all we ask.” Hoseok said and Namjoon nodded slowly with a soft smile as he bit down on his bottom lip to stop himself from crying. It was already starting to get late and the doctors should be coming soon to check up on Namjoon so Yoongi quickly escorted the three out and thanked them for coming and for understanding Namjoon. 

When Yoongi got back, Namjoon was already being helped out of bed and into some clothes so he could leave. Within 30 minutes, they were on their way to Yoongi’s apartment. What surprised Yoongi was that as soon as they got in the car, Namjoon attached his phone to the aux so they could listen to classical music. 

They had a quick dinner in bed with their dogs and soon it was time for them to go to sleep. Yoongi dragged himself out of bed and was about to leave his bedroom so Namjoon could go to sleep when the younger broke the silence with a soft question. 

“Can you please stay with me?” He asked and Yoongi smiled as his heart started to beat quicker as he walked back to the bed and crawled in next to Namjoon. The younger smiled and turned around so they faced each other on their sides. 

Namjoon was so beautiful, Yoongi thought as his hand moved to rest on the youngers cheek. It was wrong that he felt this way for Namjoon, the idol was his client and also an idol most likely under a no dating contract. He told himself even though he knew Hoseok had no idols under those types of contracts. He probably wasn’t even gay. 

“A penny for your thoughts.” Namjoon asked quietly as he placed a hand on the olders small waist. Yoongi felt his face heat up as he felt Namjoon’s hand through his thin shirt that he always wore to bed. 

“You. Your the only person on my mind.” Yoongi said as he scooted closer towards Namjoon who was smiling down at him with a smile so bright that it lit up Yoongi’s dark room. The idol leaned forward and Yoongi thought-.. Hoped that the idol would kiss him but instead he kissed his forehead but he didn’t stop there. He placed a kiss on both his cheeks and then his nose and his lips lingered above Yoongi’s, only centimeters apart. 

“Your always on my mind too.” Namjoon said quietly before bringing the male closer which in turn brought their lips together in a swift kiss that ended quickly as Namjoon pulled away and buried his face into Yoongi’s neck. 

“Thank you.” 

Maybe things wouldn’t be so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started school last Monday and my laptop broke so updates will be low for a while


End file.
